Can I Kindly Choke to Myself?!

Nope, this isn't a blog about those winter flu, germ spraying circus seals that spread their funk about without a thought about covering their mouths. This isn't as serious as a drunken Republican lodging a pretzel in his throat in the recesses of the White House on NFL Sunday. This one's about me. Sitting by myself, at a restaurant, as I try to hide the fact that I've sucked a hunk of Arby down the wrong pipe like a pigeon into a jet engine. *HOOOARK* 

You know how it goes, I'm sitting there at lunch and paying attention to just about everything except the food going in my mouth. Reading sports scores, Tweeting about the food I should be paying attention to and *thunk* I have the Augustus Gloop of Arby bun inhaled into my windpipe. 

I can breathe. It's not heimlich worthy, but it's kind of quiet around, I'm in a visible seat and I don't want to make a production.

If anybody was looking, they probably saw me failing to be subtle about aggressively mouth breathing like the big, bad wolf prepping to blow down a multi-story steel structure. But, let's assume that wasn't the only symptom of my predicament. 

Apparently Arby's sauce, while innocuous in flavor, becomes rather spicy when creeping about your lung corpuscles. So, my eyes start watering like a colicky baby. That, of course, inspires a watery nose, which is hard to battle when you lack the wind to suck it in, or blow it out, as well as the long sleeves to go all third-grade smear tactic. (on a completely unrelated topic, I'm going to recommend against ever Googling images for scorching hot sauce without safe search on. MY GOD, who knew!?) 

But, back to me. I've got it together. I'm pretending to actively read my Twitter stream and not scream out the Yetti call that would easily dislodge the mishap. So, I'm subtly grunting like something that would be a great hit among the Tuvan throat singing crowd. At the same time I'm looking around to see if anybody is noticing. 

Well, nothing gets people to notice something meant to go unnoticed like looking around to see if anybody's looking. Dude in the booth adjacent to mine whispers to his wife, then subtly gives me the raised eyebrow, like, "you going to live man?"  I gave him the little wave, letting him know I'm a jackass and forgot how to eat, but I'll make it. He gives me the nod, chuckles and whispers it back to his wife, who has to look.

I'm pretty sure that attracted a few more looks as well. But, I hunkered down for the most intense 140-character reading session I could muster while trying to dislodge a flaming Pinto from my windpipe. 

Eventually I quietly rattled things loose enough to get me through my meal and wind service returned to normal. But, all wasn't clear yet, that is, until I got into the parking lot and finally let out that Yetti cry that sent Augustus Gloop flying from the pipes. I'm pretty sure I heard bigfoot return the call in the distance when, the guy from the restaurant emerged again and gave me the look. I, again, gave him the wave, and said, better now! He chuckled. 

 

Scrabble Players Needed for Charity Tournament

So, you think you're the best at Words With Friends, how about trying your skills against others in a Scrabble tournament to benefit Adult Literacy Action Penn State Beaver? 

Adult Literacy Action is hosting its Second Annual Scrabble Tournament at the Beaver Valley Mall on October 20. I'd like to encourage you to participate. If you're an experienced player--or even a beginner, it's for a great cause. 

Adult Literacy Action is a non-profit organization that depends on the generocity and community involvement to provide service within Beaver County. For more than 30 years, Adult Literacy Action has actively promoted a literate Beaver County by offering free adult education in reading, writing, math, GED preparation, distance learning, English for Speakers of Other Languages, workforce education and family literacy. Last year, volunteer tutors and Adult Literacy instructors served over 800 adults at libraries and learning centers throughout Beaver County. 

In these tight financial times, more people need these services than ever before and your Scrabble Tournament entry of $25 will go further to help Beaver County.

Here's your chance to show off your skills:

When:   Thursday, October 20, 2011
Time:    5:30 - 8:30 PM (tournament begins at 6:00 PM)
Where:  Beaver Valley Mall --- Center of the Mall
RSVP:  Call 724.773.7810 to Enter Today 

Jesus Google! Really?! Sometimes suggestions are helpful, then other times there's this?.

Much Ado About Facebook Subscribe

So, Facebook now has a subscribe feature. Yawn! Subscribe is essentially a bandaid for the superuser and has very little to do with the average user. Superusers have left Facebook in droves for greener pastures. And Subscribe lets them share certain public posts into subscribers' streams without letting the general public into their personal account.

One of the numerous issues Facebook has always had was segmenting audiences. Quite simply, it's difficult to tell that vendor, or office acquaintence, no, I don't want you as a friend on Facebook. Likewise, it's difficult to manage your friends and family's urges to post those cute little pictures of you from years ago -- or last night. And, since most users seem to think aloud via status messages, you don't want everybody seeing what's on your mind--especially when it concerns them. 

Many people, like myself, were forced to manually segment their audiences by creating multiple identities online. Sure, Facebook eventually gave you ways to group your friends. But, to say that system is unweildy is an understatment. Facebook is an endless maze of privacy settings and options. Even advanced users get caught in the cluster of customizations. 

Enter Google+. Google+ is by no means revolutionary. Its core funtion is to share--much like Facebook. But, what Google+ brought to the game was 'Circles.' Google+ Circles is Facebook's group feature on steroids, without the rage and pocked face. Circles is a clean, simple way to group your friends, acquaintances and other audience groups. Circles is a central feature to how you share every single post in Google+. There's no pull-down box, that leads to a pop-up window, that leads to an auto-complete list of who you do and don't want to share with. It's easy and straightforward. 

All that glitz and glam is great and all for Google+, but there's one problem....the critical mass is still on Facebook. Sure, the net elite have declared Google+ their new country club. But, meanwhile, our friends, family and other luddite associates are all still seated in Facebook. People decry the injustices of Facebook, but much like bitching about work, they still show up every day. So, until that critical mass leaves, Facebook only needs to manage the hemorrhaging. 

While MySpace went the route of WordPerfect, Facebook is going the route of Microsoft. Facebook has the hold on the market and simply emulates the best features of any potential threat (i.e. Google+). Facebook subscribe is using this emulation as a tool for managing that hemorrhaging. It's placating the 'super user' with giving them a way to communicate with the outsiders without actually 'friending them.' Not, very social for the social leaders.... I've heard them lament of having to re-orginize their entire friend group and complaints of the like. But, in reality, the average Facebook user has 135 friends. To, that level of user, my kind of user, subscribe has little-to-nothing to do with how I use it. And, it has done nothing to solve my need for multiple identities.

Fact is, as long as the critical mass is on Facebook, and it is where my friends, family and co-workers are, then I need to be on Facebook. While everybody is still looking for the next, best thing, most are still keeping their feet in the Facebook waters. For that reason alone, Facebook can continue its current strategy without any great threat. Like Microsoft, Facebook will have to try really hard to shake its core of users. Some of us will make use of Google Docs to replace Microsoft. Some of us will use Google+ to replace Facebook. But, it would take a major event for either to lose their core. 

So, congrats to Facebook on Subscribe. Yawn...

First mile was ok, then after that the shit hit the fan with the heat:

Flipping through my Flipboard trying to look like I'm reading news in a meeting and Playgirl spread @FSBigBob shows up!

What's A Virtual Presence Worth?

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Well, that's the million dollar question now, isn't it? From avatars in online gaming to your life stream, people are always trying to determine the value of the effort put into getting noticed online. Companies can often trace the impact of online efforts back to sales or impressions. But what about your "personal brand?" Sure, there are analytics. But, do they really give you any insight to your true value?

To some, an online presence is just a game. To others, it's a way of building a personal brand. To most, it's just another way to connect with people that share a similar interest.

To me? Well, the verdict is still out. I haven't been actively looking for a job. I've significantly cut down on the amount of freelance work I'm doing. So, is there a value, beyond ego, to building a personal brand? 

I've tinkered with online "influence measurement tools" like Klout. I've obsessed about followers. I've divided my personal and professional presences to try to focus on providing value  and reducing noise for specific audiences. I've diversified into about every social network at one time or another. All-in-all, it's made me, personally, a more valuable asset to the not-for-profit trade association that I work with. 

Is there a direct value in that if I'm not trying to cash in? Not really. Is it a compliment to an existing skill set?Absolutely! But, as far as being able to quantify that into hours spent vs. direct value, that's murky at best.

In keeping with my social diversity, I recently delved into Empire Avenue. It's a social stock exchange where people literally buy stock in your virtual presence. This stock is supposed to provide insight into your influence and effectiveness. In theory, it's not bad. Like Klout, and other tools, it hooks into your various outlets and uses an algorithm to summarize your online activity and influence. As you engage, your stock value goes up, as does the portfolio of those that invest in you.

Like most things, it's subject to being "played" or skewed. But, I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing as that demonstrates a potential knowledge of online communities and influencing them with your brand. Some of the people I consider to be influentials in social media and public relations have signed up. I've invested in them to see where it takes me. Some have even invested in me, which I find to be rather flattering--even if it also benefits them.

I'm currently trading at around e24.00 virtual dollars. Which isn't bad. It's still hashing through my droves of photos, videos, tweets and status updates. So, my guess is that value will continue to build. So, if you're thinking about joining, feel free to buy me while I'm going cheap: http://www.empireavenue.com/wwtv. It doesn't happen often...haha