Sorry In Advance: I'm working with a trainer and a dietitian

So, let me start this by saying sorry. I've made a commitment to drop some serious weight and it's going to change a few things...at least for a bit.

No, I'm not apologizing for doing something for myself. I'm saying sorry, because I know I've conditioned a lot of people around me to expect a certain level of debauchery when they hang around with me.

Not to take too much credit, but I'm sure I've drug some of you down along with me. In fact, debauchery is the backbone of several relationships. So, I understand it's going to leave a few skid marks when I stop on a dime and make some major changes. I get it. But, you're just going to have to bear with me.

Here's a brief look back and a look for where I'm headed.

During most of the early part of my life, I was thin as a rail. In fact, people often questioned whether I was eating at all. I was undersized for the sports I was playing and I was too thin in general. In fact, I often chuckle now when I see the shirts "I beat anorexia." I was by no means anorexic, I ate like a horse. It just so happened that I played sports year-round and was quite active. So, despite eating like a competitive eating champion on a daily basis, I was still a skeleton.

So, naturally, when I got to college and I was no longer

playing organized sports year-round, I started packing on a few pounds. But, really there was no issue. In reality, through my college years, I packed on several pounds and it really didn't even register as a blip on the radar. In fact, I rather enjoyed having some mass and still relatively being in shape.

Well, enter graduation. Back at home. Still living the college life style. Partying with old friends. Except, I was no longer walking miles to class. I was no longer biking around town. Life was pretty much working retail, finding the beer special of the night and trying to find a job.

If you think your lifestyle couldn't get any more stagnant, you need to find yourself a desk job. Yep, after months of searching and a false-start with the Penguins, I landed a desk job--probably the most stagnant you can be--short of being dead. It becomes a lethal combination. You can finally afford to party like you always wanted to, and you're sitting still more than you ever did in your life.

But, hey, at least I was out every night, right? Well....enter marriage. Yep,

remember that Sunday night volleyball league? It was replaced by game night.

Fifteen years of work and eleven years of marriage later, I'm huge. No, not like reality TV huge, or Godzilla intervention huge. I'm huge for me.

The hints are there. People say, wow, you've changed

since your wedding pix. Translation: "Damn dude, did you eat Woody?" Or simple things like my wife buying me a reinforced outdoor folding chair. "Translation, JIMMY! You're killing my dainty lawn furniture. Here, take a big boy chair and make it your own."

I've dropped 20, 30 pounds before with crash dieting. But, somehow I've managed to re-find them. I'm not in any major health concerns. In fact, I just completed a 9-week 5k running program. So, I'm in at least decent cardiovascular shape. But, the weight isn't coming off like it used to. Something had to change.

I've tried doing it on my own. Doing the treadmill and still doing the fork and 16oz beer curls (sometimes 22oz depending on the brand). But, I wasn't taking off the weight like I wanted to. So, I decided to enlist some pro's.

Now I have a trainer and a dietitian. I've got a goal to lose 20 lbs in one month. Mark your calendar for August 16! But, it is exactly what it's called, a change. So, the old, go-with-the-flow, partying Woody is going to be on the sidelines for a bit.

For the next 6 weeks, my entire diet and workout plan is dictated by this program. Essentially, my routine will be:

• 7am: 1 protein, 2 fibrous
• 10am: .5 protein, .5 fibrous
• 12pm: 1 protein, 1 fibrous, 1 snack
• 3pm: .5 protein, .5 fibrous
• 5pm: 2 protein, 2 fibrous
• 10pm: 1 snack
• 8 glasses of water and some of my old-reliable unsweetened iced tea
• 3 scheduled ass kickings by my trainer

I realize that's going to crimp on the normal modus operandi of how I spend my time with all of you, my friends and family. Hell, it's crimping on MY life...haha. But, much like I did when I went to get my master's degree, I'm just going to hunker down and plow through this.

I expect a certain amount of "you should do it this way," "here just try this," "what, not even one drink with me." I'll just politely nod--or in some cases punch you in the throat.

And, so, here I sit, eating what I would often refer to as "cat food," and writing this blog. Like I said, without giving myself too much credit, I know I created a monster. I know I created expectations that at any given time, I could go out, eat a horse and chug a brewery and not miss a beat.

In fact, I still could do those things, but right now I'm not. That guy's on the bench for at least the next six weeks and most likely on limited duty thereafter. So, I am sorry that it's probably going to cause some panic and confusion among those that expect that from me. But, like all things, it'll work out....once I'm down several pounds....